It’s Friday and I am back in Westoport. I’ve spent the day wandering about looking for treasures. Now I’m sitting at the foot of the clock tower in the centre of a bustling area. The sun has persuaded me to leave my sweater aside, but the clouds are still spitting a tad.

I have a strange sense about me today. I feel like the wonder of Ireland is slipping through my fingers. Gone is the sense of adventure, the joy of discovery, the awe of my surroundings. I feel the pre-Ireland Deanna stepping boldly backinto my sould. And I feel too tired to fight her off.

At the same time, I feel melancholy to think I’ll soon be leaving. What will become of me upon my return? Will this growing anxiety rule? Will I be able to foster and re-kindle my Irish spirit? The mist descends as the day wears on and I feel it wrap around my shoulders. I have been alone for so long now. I grow more and more content with my own company, but hope springs eternal as I wait for a friend to cross my path.

Only days ago I crossed that path and created my own memories. Yet now I feel….tired. Is it possible I have used up my gift? Can that happen? If it CAN happen, I almost wouldn’t be suprised! I have put myself out there in ways I once thought imaginable! I have had over 100 conversations with so many different people! I gave out nearly all of my 100 Canadian flag lapel pins and with each one I shared a bit of myself. And each time the recipient immediately donned the ‘badge’ with a smile and thanks. I am so eternally grateful for this experience! The joy and wonder and awe can never truly leave me. Thay are well seated in the depths of my being.

I’ve been told that all I need to do to bring it back is to be still.

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While cleaning out my office today (October 2026), I found a notebook with this undated memory. When I think back, it was from the second time I arrived in Westport (Auguest 2016) just before I rode back to Dublin to return my rented bike. I don’t remember Tom talking to me that day about being still, but I’m happy he did. When I re-read my note and sat for a moment I remembered that day so clearly. It’s hard to believe my adventures began ten years ago already!